PS 3545 
.E533 R76 






















m 










<' 








r "^ a\ v^ O . » . \J V^ ' e , S .'> 










> 



O 



\ 



';i' 



,* 
> 



i^/A 



.v>^ 














^> 



"v/^. .^ 




4 O 
^ V- ^i^>C^^• o.^ (TV 



V^ ^. <-^ 












unsm M 



n? V 



p 



Rubaiy^t of a Motor Car 



1 



Rubaiyat of a 
Motor Car 



By 

Carolyn Wells 

II 
Antfaor of 

Idle Idyls, Folly For Tfie Wise, 
A Nonsense Antholojjy, &c. 




Witfi illustrations by 
Frederick Strothmann 



New Tort 

Dodd» Mead Company 

1906 



LIBRARY of CONGRESS 
Two CoDies Received 

APR 28 1906 

. CopyrlKht Entry 
OiKSS/7^ XXc.No, 






Gopyriubt, 1906, By Tbe Gartis PaBIisbini^ Company 

Copyrij^Iitt 1906, By Dodd, Mead and Company 

PaBIisBed. MarcB, 1906 



f 



To tbe crank tbat 
makes the machine go 



Rubaiyat of a Motor Car 



Wafce! For tte "Honfc/' ttat 

scatters into fhgbt 
Tbe Hens before it in a Flapping 

Frigbt, 
Drives straigbt up to your 

Door, and bids you Gome 
Out for a Morning Hour of 

Sbeer Dehgbt ! 



Gome, fill tbe Tank, adjust tbe 

Yalye and Spring, 
Tour Automobile Garments 

'round you Fling; 
Tlie Bird Of Time wants but 

to get away; 
(I tliink tbat name's a ratlier 

Glever Tbing!) 



And as tte Cortscrew drawing 

out the Cork, 
I crank my Car and try to 

make it work. 
You know tow little wbile 

we have to Ride; 
And once departed, may go to 

I^ew York. 



whether at Naishapur or Baby- 
lon, 

Whether the Car shall jerk or 
sweetly run, 
The Wine of Life is in a j 
Motor Trip, 

(Though all the Parts keep 
breaking One by One!) 



Wlty^ ii tde Soul can know this 
Glorious Game, 

All other Stunts seem dry and 
dull and tame; 
This is the ultimate, triumph- 
ant Joy, 

Automobile Elation is its Name! 



Would you your last remaining 
Thousands spend 

About the Secret? Quick about 

it. Friend! 
A Hair perhaps divides This 

Make from That— 
And on that Hair, prithee, may 

life depend! 



Now the New Year reviviiig old 
Desires, 

The thoughtful Soul to Cata- 
logues retires; 
He scorns his Last Tear's 
Runabout, and to 

The Newest, Biggest Touring 
Car aspires! 



EacR Year a Hundred Models 

brings, you say; 
Yes, but wbo buys the Car of 

Yesterday? 
And every Mail brings in New 

Catalogues 
Tbat make a Last Year's Model 

fade away! 



W^te not your Hour nor in 

the Vain pursuit 
Of Demonstrators who wiB loud 

Dispute; 
"This one is Best, because 

it's painted Red!*' 
"Tliat One, because it bas a 

Louder Toot!" 



'Tis only a Beginner, young and 
green, 

W^io Thinks he wants an Odor- 
less Machine; 
What Fragrance is to Rose 
or Violet, 

So to the Motor-Gar is Gaso- 
lene. 



Some advocate Gear-Driven 

Cars, and Some 
Siyfi for a Joctey-pulley yet to 

come; 
Oil, crank your Gar, and 

let tte old tfiing Go! 
Nor fieed ttie Brake upon your 

Sprocket Drum. 



'Tis but a Toy on wfiich one 
spends a Pile, 

And Brags about it for a Little 
WMe; 
Ambition rises — and tbe Fool- 
ish Man 

Sigbsy and prepares to buy 
Another Style. 



Tfiey say The lion and TFie 

Lizard keep 
The Record for Hill-climbing, 

rough and steep; 
I do not know those Makes. 

rn hunt them up. 
Fd like to Buy one, if they're 

not too Cheap. 



You know, my Friends, witR 

wliat a Brave Carouse 
I put a Second Mortgage on 

my House 
So I could buy a Great Big 

Touring-Gar, 
And run down Chickens, Dogs, 

and even Cows! 



For it my Future Income did I 

owe, 
And witt mine own Hand 

wrought to make it go ; 
And tbis was all tbe Wisdom 

tfcat I reap'd — 
"We cost like Tdunder and like 

Ligbtning go!" 



And those "Accessories" Adver- 
tisements 

That oder you Supphes at slight 
Expense; 
You read them oyer, and 
they always make 

Your own Belongings look like 
Thirty Gents. 






Look to tbe Blowing Horn 

before us— "Lo/' 
*'GaiIy/' it says, "Into tke Woi^U 

I blow!" 
Bebold its lovely Bulb, and 

Sweet-toned Reed, — 
(Ttie most Expensive in tbe 

Garden Sbow!) 



I had to Iiaye a Snakeskiii 

Auto-Goat, 
A Leather Foot-Mufl, lined with 

Thibet Goat; 
A Steering-Apron, and a 

Sleeping-Bag; 
For these things Help a Motorer 

to Mote. 



And tfien my Luncheon-Kit, and 
Hamper, swell. 

Robbed me of Many a Hard- 
Earned Dollar! Well, 
I often wonder wfiat tbe 
Dealers buy 

One-Iialf so Easy as tfie Folks 
tfiey Sell. 



Myself wfien Young, did eagerly 

frequent 
Garage and Glub, and beard 

Great Argument 
About it and about, — yet 

evermore 
Game out more Addled tban 

wben in I went. 



Indeed, with my big Gar IVe 

run so long 
It seems to me there's Always 

something Wi^ong; 
Faulty Ignition, or a Blown 

Out Shoe, 
Or maybe the Compression is 

too Strong. 



Then to the Laughing Face that 

lurks behind 
The Veil, I hfted up mine Eyes 

to find 
Two pouting Lips, demurely 

murmuring, 
**I don't see why you Ever 

bought This Kind!" 



Indeed, IVe learned to treat it 
as a Joke 

Wl^en Nuts work loose, or Car- 
buretors choke; 
And then, and then — the 
Spring, and then the Belt, 

A Punctured Tire, or Change- 
Speed Leyer broke! 



A Look of Anguisli underneath 
the Car, 

Another Start, — a Squeak, — a 
Grunt, — a Jar! 
The Aspiration Pipe is work- 
ing loose! 

The Vapor can't get out! And 
there you are! 



For I remembeir Stopping by 

tfie Way 
To tinker up tfie old Machine 

one day, 
And with a Reckless and 

Unbridled Tongue, 

I muttered,— Well, 1 Wouldn't 
like to say! 



Wty> even Saints and Sages 

would have cuss'd 
If, speeding tEirough tfie World, 

tdeir Tires bad Bust! 
Like Foolish People now, 

whose words of Scorn 
Are utter'd while their Mouths 

are Stopt with Dust, 



Wfien suddenly, an Angel Sfiape 

was seen 
Approaching in an Dp-to-date 

Mactiine, 
Bearing a Vessel wfiicfc fie 

otf ered me, 
And bid me smell of it. Twas 

Gasolene! 



The Stufi ttat can witt Logic 

Absolute 
Tte Two-and-Seventy Jarring 

Parts confute; 
The Sovereign Alcdemist that 

in a trice 
A Drop of Oil will into Power 

transmute. 



Wliose Secret presence through 

the Motor's Veins 
Running Quictsilver-hfce defies 

our pains; 
Gutting up tricks from here 

to Jericho, — 
We try to start the Car, — but 

it Remains! 



Strange, is it not, that of tde 

Myriads who 
Have Empty Tanks and know 

not what to do, 
Not one will Tell of it when 

he Returns! 
As for Ourselves,— wfiy, we 

Deny it too. 



Wtat! Out of Oily Nothing 

to invofce 
A Powerful Sometbing, bom of 

Fire and Smoke! 
An Unremitting Pleasure, if 

it goes; 
An Everlasting Worriment, if 

broke. 



We are no otter ttian a Moying 

Row 

Of Automobile Cranks that 

come and go. 
And what with Goggles and 

Tale-windowed Veils, 
In Motoring Get-up, we're a 

Holy Stiow! 



But (lelpless Pieces of the Game 

bestowed 
Upon tte Gliecfcer-board of 
Hill and Road; 
Hitfier and Tliitter moved 
and sped and stopped. 
And One by One back to ttie 
Garage towed. 



Tlie Car no Question mates of 

Ayes or Noes, 
But Here or There as strikes 

its Fancy goes. 
But the Bystander, odering 

Advice, 
He knows about it all — He 

knows— He KNOWS! 



And if in Vain down on tlie 

Stubborn Floor 
Of Eartb you lie. And weary, 

cramped and sore, 
You gaze to-day; you may 

be jolly sure 
To-morrow 'twill be worse tban 

'twas before! 



Yesterday's Troubles made you 

Mad for fair. 
To-morrow's Trials too, will 

make you Swear. 
Crank! For you know not 

What's the tiitct nor W^y ! 
Grank! For you know not 

W^en you ^o, nor WIiei*e ! 



Each Mora a Thousand Trou- 
bles cause Delay. 

Yes: but you left Some unfixed 
Yesterday; 
And this first Impulse that 
should bring the Spark — 

Confound this old Igniter, Any- 
way! 



You Tliaw your Freezeless 

Circulation first; 
Tden mend your Puncture Proof 

Tire wtiere it Burst. 
Helpless you Skid upon your 

Anti-Skids, 

But Starting a Self-Starter is tKe 
Worst! 



Perliaps you get out your 

Repairing-Kit, 
And try to Regulate tfie Tting 
a bit; 
You test the Coil, adjust the 
Shifting-Gear, — 
And then it Goes? Not so 
you'd Notice it ! 



And ttat Inverted Man, wfio 

seems to lie 
Upon tfie Ground, and Squints 

with Practised Eye. 
lift not your Hands to fiim 

for Help. For fie 
As impotently works as you 

or I. 



All, Love, couM You and I witd 

dim conspire 
To Fix this Sorry Scheme of 
Things entire, 
Would we not take it all 

apart, and then 
Remodel with no danger of 
Back-Fire? 



All, make tde most of Time we 

yet may spend 
Before we too, into tte Dust 

descend; 
Dust unto Dust. Under tbe 

Car to lie, 
Sans Goat, sans Breatb, sans 

Temper, and — sans Friend! 



And tliat Reyiying Herb, yydose 
Tender Green 

Upon the Julep Gup is some- 
times seen. 
Ah, interyieyy it lightly, for 
you knoyy 

You U need your Wits to man- 
age your Machine. 



Ahy my Beloved, fiD tbe Lamps 
that sded 

A steady Searcblight on our 
Path ahead; 
To-morrow! — Why, To-mor- 
row I may be 

Myself with Yesterday's Seven 
Thousand Dead. 



WV> if your Gar can fling the 

Dust aside, 
And flying, througb tbe Air of 

Heaven ride, 
Were't not a Shame, were't 

not a Shame, I say. 
Within Speed Limit, tamely to 

abide? 



Wbat! Without asking, stop 
our Speed immense? 

And, without asking, Jadward 
(lunried hence! 
Oh, many a Cop of this For- 
bidding Mien, 

Must rue the Memory of his 
Insolence! 



And fear not lest a Smashup 

closing My 
Account and Yours, Machines 
no more shall fly; 
The Eternal Motorist has 

ever bought 
[illions of Bubbles like ours, 
and will buy. 



I sometimes tliink tbat every 

Sfiining Star 
Is but tbe Tad Lamp of a 

Motor Car; 
WIiicK leap'd from Eartb in 

its mad Ecstasy, 
And into Space went Speeding 

Fast and Far. 



And tbis I know. Tbougli in 
a Magazine 

Perfectly-running Motor Gars 
IVe seen, 
It's quite a Ditferent Propo- 
sition wden 

They're on the Road, and filled 
Witli Gasolene! 



Tde Moving Motor speeds, and 

haying Sped, 
Moves on. Nor all ttie Cries 

and Shrieks of Dread 
Shall lure it back to settle 

Damage Claims; 
Not even if the Victims are 

Half Dead! 



And wden at Last youVe 

mastered Belts and Bolts, 
Wfcen witfi no fear of Side- 
Slips, Jars or Jolts, 
Tour Sixty H. P. Racer licks 
up Miles 
At Ligbtning Speed, — ^turn on a 
few more Volts ! 



Tben in your Glorious Suc- 
cess exult! 

WIten your Gar plunges like a 
Gatapulty 
Sit tight! Hold hard! Pass 
Everything in Sight! 

And you will be Surprised at 
the Result ! 







^. 



.0 



>0' 



/^^ "^ 



^ O^ - „ , o 



Deacidified using the Bookkeeper process. 
Neutralizing agent: Magnesium Oxide 
Treatment Date: Sept. 2009 

PreservationTechnologies 

A WORLD LEADER IN COLLECTIONS PRESERVATION 

111 Thomson Pari< Drive 
Cranberry Township, PA 1 6066 
(724)779-2111 



1^1%^fv 



'?\t 



